Nintendo Power: The Wizard
Back in 1989 the longest commercial ever was released to big screens across this great land of ours. It was called The Wizard. Below are scans of a Nintendo Pocket Power magazine given out during it's showing that I recently found in my basement. I was so jazzed when I found it that I just had to share it with everyone else. :)
Nothing much to see here in the first 3, except that we learn if you play a certain undefined video game well enough magical chocolate jello pops will fly from the screen in front of your ray-bans. That and somebody in marketing thought an interview with Fred Savage in a magazine about video games was a good idea. Seriously, not to many boys want to read about him...but back then we'd read the side of a toothpaste tube if we thought it had information on Super Mario Brothers 3.
Now it's starting to get good, once you get over the shock from realizing that back in 89 they actually produced a fanny pack that said "the wizard" on it. On the next page you can see the best of the world championship players. Of course I think I could take them all since they are holding the controllers backwards.... Cool "article" (ad) on Ducktales (loved that game, and cartoon). Next we get to see RoboCop (no crotch shooting action), Dragon Warrior (LOVED that game...still have it), "realistic" Football and an ad for the Nes Satellite. I'm kinda surprised they didn't try to work a crippled chinese kid into the picture somewhere, but oh well...
Yes....Wheel of Fortune / Jeparody, nothing more fun than a game with a finite series of "questions" for you to memorize and then whip everyone else at. I seem to remember there being a cheat code to make Vanna White nude. Now the ChessMaster, that was a thinking geeks game. And finally a GameBoy recape of all the best. I remember linking up Tetris for the first time and thinking how cool it was.
Before the internet, there was Nintendo Power Magazine, and if you didn't get that you sucked. Did sega have a magazine..Nooooooo, because they sucked. :P You want Nintendo Power, you need Nintendo Power, you must have Nintendo Power! Nothing else will help you with Clash at Demonhead! Where else could you market a beach bum super secret agent who buys stuff from a guy that looks like Ron Jeremy? Of course there's Soccer or Hoops for you to play. I wonder if soccer comes with a crotch kicking feature?
ShadowGate! Now that was a great game. One I still have as a matter of fact. Never played Stealth ATF or Fester's Quest, but I love how the mazes are displayed in a "weird 3D persepective". What a silly concept...other games tried to do that and failed (wolfenstein, doom, etc....silly games). Next Marble Madness, god I hated that game. Let us speak no more of it. Finally we have Super freakin' Mario Brother's 3, the source of my desire. The pinnicle of achievement for the NES system. Amazing graphics, killer game play, and it cures cancer! And what do we get? 3/4 of a page of a fucking drawing....oh and some pitty pictures tossed in at the end that look like they were taken by Stevie Wonder using a vivitar 110. Thanks a lot Nintendo....bastards...
IronSword...somehow the box art and the game images of the main character just don't match up. Looks more like dorksword. But I love the giant lava blob boss...classic NES. Ooooh, classified information. I'm sure that it's important, otherwise why would they classify it? Abadox, never played it. But damn it actually looks impressive I mean the title is literally dripping with blood and gore...it has to be a good game! Snake's Revenge, It's hilarious to me to see the difference in Metal Gear based games across the ages. Also, I love it when a video game includes characters who smoke...it's so cool. Super Off Road looks kinda lame, but Double Dragon II was a freakin' legend.
Finally we have the Game Glove, the coolest looking piece of crap ever made. Looked awesome, performed like a cinder block. In fact it still looks cool. Of course all of this was brought to you by the pepsi generation. Remember that you can make a difference in life. Especially by sitting around drinking pepsi and playing baseball around a bunch of people who want chicks to think they are starting a band. I mean the drummer doesn't even have any drums....your not fooling anybody, everyone knows the cool kids roll their pants. Totally mondo,
D
Nothing much to see here in the first 3, except that we learn if you play a certain undefined video game well enough magical chocolate jello pops will fly from the screen in front of your ray-bans. That and somebody in marketing thought an interview with Fred Savage in a magazine about video games was a good idea. Seriously, not to many boys want to read about him...but back then we'd read the side of a toothpaste tube if we thought it had information on Super Mario Brothers 3.
Now it's starting to get good, once you get over the shock from realizing that back in 89 they actually produced a fanny pack that said "the wizard" on it. On the next page you can see the best of the world championship players. Of course I think I could take them all since they are holding the controllers backwards.... Cool "article" (ad) on Ducktales (loved that game, and cartoon). Next we get to see RoboCop (no crotch shooting action), Dragon Warrior (LOVED that game...still have it), "realistic" Football and an ad for the Nes Satellite. I'm kinda surprised they didn't try to work a crippled chinese kid into the picture somewhere, but oh well...
Yes....Wheel of Fortune / Jeparody, nothing more fun than a game with a finite series of "questions" for you to memorize and then whip everyone else at. I seem to remember there being a cheat code to make Vanna White nude. Now the ChessMaster, that was a thinking geeks game. And finally a GameBoy recape of all the best. I remember linking up Tetris for the first time and thinking how cool it was.
Before the internet, there was Nintendo Power Magazine, and if you didn't get that you sucked. Did sega have a magazine..Nooooooo, because they sucked. :P You want Nintendo Power, you need Nintendo Power, you must have Nintendo Power! Nothing else will help you with Clash at Demonhead! Where else could you market a beach bum super secret agent who buys stuff from a guy that looks like Ron Jeremy? Of course there's Soccer or Hoops for you to play. I wonder if soccer comes with a crotch kicking feature?
ShadowGate! Now that was a great game. One I still have as a matter of fact. Never played Stealth ATF or Fester's Quest, but I love how the mazes are displayed in a "weird 3D persepective". What a silly concept...other games tried to do that and failed (wolfenstein, doom, etc....silly games). Next Marble Madness, god I hated that game. Let us speak no more of it. Finally we have Super freakin' Mario Brother's 3, the source of my desire. The pinnicle of achievement for the NES system. Amazing graphics, killer game play, and it cures cancer! And what do we get? 3/4 of a page of a fucking drawing....oh and some pitty pictures tossed in at the end that look like they were taken by Stevie Wonder using a vivitar 110. Thanks a lot Nintendo....bastards...
IronSword...somehow the box art and the game images of the main character just don't match up. Looks more like dorksword. But I love the giant lava blob boss...classic NES. Ooooh, classified information. I'm sure that it's important, otherwise why would they classify it? Abadox, never played it. But damn it actually looks impressive I mean the title is literally dripping with blood and gore...it has to be a good game! Snake's Revenge, It's hilarious to me to see the difference in Metal Gear based games across the ages. Also, I love it when a video game includes characters who smoke...it's so cool. Super Off Road looks kinda lame, but Double Dragon II was a freakin' legend.
Finally we have the Game Glove, the coolest looking piece of crap ever made. Looked awesome, performed like a cinder block. In fact it still looks cool. Of course all of this was brought to you by the pepsi generation. Remember that you can make a difference in life. Especially by sitting around drinking pepsi and playing baseball around a bunch of people who want chicks to think they are starting a band. I mean the drummer doesn't even have any drums....your not fooling anybody, everyone knows the cool kids roll their pants. Totally mondo,
D
Comments
DATE:
Without a doubt, the best post ever!
I would have never beat Final Fantasy without Nintendo power.
Posted by: Anonymous | May 18, 2006 11:50 AM
DATE:
The Sega magazine was called Sega Visions, and was pretty awesome considering its free cost. If I remember right it was righly twice as thick as Nintendo Power but didn't come out as often. I remember once they did a fascinating multi-part article on the history of the Sega company, which made various coin-op machines before their console gaming days.
Also, in the 16-bit era, Game Informer was a free magazine too for those on the Funcoland mailing list. It was rather thin, but ya can't beat the price.
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Posted by: Andrew Lenahan | May 18, 2006 11:50 AM
DATE:
Sega had a magazine back in the day. It was simply called "Sega" or something original like that. I don't remember ever ordering a subscription for it either, it just seemed to come to your house once they got your address. Of course, it was just as self-serving as Nintendo Power; of course, when you're a kid you never stop to consider the source and wonder why everything you're reading is touted to be absolutely fantastic.
Posted by: kevlar51 | May 18, 2006 11:50 AM