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July 26, 2003

In memory of Doris M. Judd

My mother, Doris, passed this morning at 2:53. She has been very sick for a long time and both my sister and I have been taking care of her. Around easter we noticed a change in her behaviour, after visiting a doctor it was discovered she had multiple brain tumors and lung cancer. She was not in any pain up until the end, passed in her sleep. The past 4 month have been very hard on me, and I choose not to say anything simply because I can't stand pity. It might be a while before I update again, but I will continue to keep this site running hopefully. A special thanks to the people that enabled me to care for my mother while continuing to keep my job (god bless wireless internet and telecommuting). Without the help of them I would never have made it through this. I leave you with one thought, let us hope that we will be remembered not for how we die, but for how we lived.

In memory of Doris M. Judd

July 25, 2003

I wish my computer would stop lauching messenger when i click on O.E. :(

Ever hear of the Nigerian 419 Email scam? If not visit Ebolamonkey's site to find out more about what it is, and some hilarious ways he torments them. I mention this because the scam itself is an interesting look into the human mind, and also because I read today that they actually caught some of the scammers in the US. There are a few other sites dedicated to scamming the scammers too.

July 22, 2003

it's not about me, it's not about you, it's not about them or what they do

Golden Monkey beer!

christ almighty

Ok, so I haven't updated any pics of me lately, because I haven't felt like doing static html. Honestly this database is easier to update. Anyways, I was at a BBQ this weekend and here are some pics:

And here's Steve discovering how good Golden Monkey really is :)

July 19, 2003

July 16, 2003

kadunk kadunk kadunk

Dear lord, kill me now....... Anyways, here's a link to one of the best, funniest articles on The Best Page in the Universe, its called Take your X-TREME marketing and shove it.
You want to read it, you must read it, it's brilliant. Simply reading it will make your life better, and cure cancer.....and hangnails. Really, it will.

July 15, 2003

Strawberry Quik, now with anti-furball formula

I have now clinically proven that cat's like milk. Strawberry milk to be exact, strawberry milk out of my glass to be exact.
As I walked out of my shower last night, I found nibbler just sitting on his bed (also known as our coffee table) happily drinking away. My reaction's fluctuated between anger and happiness that at least he didn't knock the glass over. However, here is where nibbler is different from our other cats. He knows no fear. He did not run, sprint, gallop, flee, or even so much as give me a guilty look. He simply sat there, enjoying his late snack and ignoring the fact that at any second he could incur the wrath of the being for whom his good fortune is dependant upon. Long and short, I was pretty much done, and god damn, he's just to cute. So I managed to snag some pic's:

Can i get gastrointestinal bypass surgery?

There are a few things in life I will never understand:
- lime green cars
- people who own base model mustangs (especially in lime green)
- water softeners....I mean really, have you ever tried to set one?
- why they turned dawson's creek in to an orgy
- why family guy and futurama were cancelled
- why MTV can still have the word Music in its title, yet never play any
- people who get on the elevator while you are trying to get off of it However, the greatest mystery perhaps that I have ever come across is my sister. I somehow cannot fathom how exactly it is she can eat the massive amount of crap she does and still weigh around 100lbs. Seriously, I don't do any shoppping (except beer) because everything I bought she just ended up throwing out. But right now there are like 4 bags of Pepperidge Farms cookies, some fudge brownies and other stuff. I mean, here I am eating salads, cooking on the grill, watching my carbohydrates and fat, yet I feel like jabba the hut. Curse you beer, some day you will have you comeuppance! "You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means." Inigo Montoya
Remember this guy? Great quote....can you freaking belive he's in the showtime series Dead Like Me? (great show by the way, seriously go watch it). Completely caught me off guard on that one...... And now, the coolest link i've seen today:
- Matrix ping pong.....no seriously, it's really funny...guys, hey guys come back.

July 13, 2003

I couldn't sleep any more even if i was a cat

- Remember Dennis's Cheerio Theory of Parking? Here's a more scientific explanation.
- LOL? That's so 90's, the cool thing is to use L5+.
- Hit your wife with a pillow, go to jail. Break into your neighbor's house and try to kill them, go free. Justice surrenders.
- Proven ways to prevent sex, that is aside from leaving the lights on or only having 9 1/2 fingers and the glimmer in your eye of a dying house plant. And now, your moment of Zen, Caption this pic:

July 11, 2003

Bad tyler, bad!

- Here's a video about a touching love tryst between a toy poodle, a stuffed animal, and a video camera.

July 10, 2003

Definition of Bar-b-que

It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do. When a man volunteers to do the 'BBQ' the following chain of events are put into motion: 1. The woman goes to the store. 2. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. 3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand. 4. The man places the meat on the grill. 5. The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables. 6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. 7. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman. 8. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table. 9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. 10. Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking efforts. 11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

you may not recognize me tomorrow

Ever been so tired your eyes hurt? Yeah, me too. - The Hulk's got some bulk.
- And the #1 reason to use an air compressor to inflate something is this.
- Guy hits pedestrian, drives home with legless torso embedded in window. I'll never complaing about bird poop on my windshield again.
- Sick of emoticon's like :) :/ :P, then learn to use them in real life again.
- Once again, lets review this. If you are going to vandilise your neighborhood...don't video tape yourself doing it. In related news, forced sterilization bill garners newfound support in the community.
- d00d....wtf? It's the evil dead village people.
Going to bed now....must stop playing Zelda.

July 07, 2003

Digger

Have you heard the newest Liz Phair CD?

Seriously, I've had it in my car for like the last two weeks straight. It's really that good. It's a little pop'y (same production team as Avril) but still the lyrics and vocals are bang on. Honestly the production value adds a little upbeatness to the music, and keeps it from being lethargic. Either way, stop reading and go buy it.

July 05, 2003

trolls like to eat little babies and drink their blood

- It's good to see artist's putting their stuff online for people to watch. Such as DJ Format ,funny video nothing like breakdancing teddy bears.
- God those McGriddle breakfast sandwiches look foul.
- There are some real hot naked girls here, my favorite is the amatuer section. I just found a new shirt I want :)

July 04, 2003

A good book

A while back a friend of Jen's gave her this book to read:

While I was waiting for another book to arrive via UPS I started picking this up during spare time and reading. It was a great book, very enjoyable, and highly recommended by me. Now the author has another book coming out:
If your lucky, check out her book tour on her website Idiotgirls.com and she might be near you some time soon.

July 03, 2003

and i thought the blockbuster crap was bad

I've learned something today. Something I never thought I'd learn in my life. Somebody can f#@* your credit up without even needing your permission. I applied for a credit card a while back, and got back a reject notice today. They said I was denied due to excessive late payments on a different account in my credit history. Well after I call the bank, then the credit history place, and then pay to get a copy of my credit history, I find out that all of my credit is top notch except for a Discover card. well....wait just a minute...I don't have a discover card. But my mother does, so I figured she added me onto her account (but that doesn't explain the late payments...my mother always pays ontime). So I call discover and using the account info I get from Transcredit that the account is under another person's name, and I am only a secondary account. Yup....turns out my ex had me on her discover account, and I didn't even have a card. Plus, her late payments (9....I mean com'n) were sending my credit rating down the drain. Nice, huh? Now I had to do some quick thinking to talk discover into removing my name from the account, and then get Transcredit to issue a dispute request to discover to clear my credit history. I'm not even sure if it will work to clear my credit, but I now know that sharing anything with anyone is a dangerous proposition. Especially when that person doesn't pay their bills on time.

Bomb in NY

Jen just called me a few minutes ago. Apparently there were some bombs found in a rental car across the street from LaGuardia Airport in New York. Unfortunatly she is in the hotel across the street. There is coverage on CNN right now, but none of the major sites seem to have picked up on it yet. This is some fucked up shit right here...... Update:
Just found an article on this on NBC.
Update:
Freakin' false alarms......

July 02, 2003

Dirty deed's done w/ sheep

Ran across this today:
- Dirty deed's (make sure you have your speakers on)
- Here's the lyrics and some other parodies.

IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!!

This is damn funny - Freaky PB&J It's like the whole Fark website in one flash