- Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Of course I won't ruin it by pointing out it's about as real as a 3 dollar bill.
- Light brite online. Now you don't have to worry about your dog eating all the pieces.
- Your on a boat tour. The boat goes under a bridge. You get drenched in human feces and urine. Your probably still cleaner than if you jumped into the chicago river.
- Wow, employees of the Transportation Security Administration caught stealing from people's luggage which looking for bombs. I'm completely shocked...shocked I tell you.
- If you aske me, I just think the pilots wanted a closer look at the nude beach.
- Hey Mr. Nord? We found your car that was stolen from you the other day. All you have to do is come down to the police station and pay the tow truck to get it. Or we can knock 10% off the price if you let me brutilize you with my nightstick.
- Remember that murder of 7 people in Fla I mentioned a few days back. Now they're saying that the victim made 7 calls to 911 before the mass murder. Seven fucking calls....excuse me while I go polish my hand gun.