you can't have none of this, cause you can't handle this!
Something's been bothering me for some time now, and I just can't keep it to myself any longer.
There's something even more wrong than normal with television lately. The ratio of hot chicks to normal guys is way off the charts, and we need 500mg's of realility stat! See this is how they plan it, they don't throw supermodel's in these sitcoms, but they put women that obviously wouldn't be with the leading male to attract the ugly guy demographic. See these not only attract men because they are good looking, but also because it give the false hope that there's a snowball's chance in hell they could bag a hottie. It's so subversive it's not funny...you don't realize it until it's to late and then you find yourself sucked in and unable to break the spell. It's everywhere you look:
- King of Queens
- Still Standing
- Everybody loves Raymond
- According to Jim And the worst part is all of these lead guys are nice guy's. Don't get me wrong...a lot of them are ex stand up comic's and are funny as hell. But the characters they portray always have such modest job's...like ups guy. Let's run with that for a minute. For all the ladies out there, when was the last time you had the desire to hump an overweight, receiding hair lined ups driver in his late 30's? I mean seriously? Or how about a sports colum writer? Or a loveable, mid-western raised contractor? They don't have looks, they don't have money. I'm thinking that the lesson here is either "knockem up on the first date, after you drug them and have sex with their lifeless passed out body" or "have a huge penis". Seriously...that would so explain all the penis pill commercials on tv lately. Because nothing says I need a larger penis like Mike Ditka throwing a football through a moving tire swing *shudder*. I mean if after coaching the bears and having restaurants with his name on them he can't afford high class poontang, he needs more help than a little pill can give. I think that's the ticket, we're all being manipulated. The networks believe they can convice us that it's not the fact that we need to shave our backs, have beer guts, or live with our mothers. If only we had larger penis's we could bag attractive wifes....regardless of being a manager of long john's silver, or delivering packages for a living. Don't you see we're all sheep being lead into the slaughterhouse full of viagra and double chins. When was the last time you saw a real fugly couple like Allin the Family or so? That reminds me, when did MTV stop playing music videos? Remember when they used to play video's all day? Now it's just all this reality tv/slut-a-thon's crap that dribble's out of the tv like an old buritto from a fragile traveler's colon. Which reminds me, what cum rag decided TRL needed an awards show? For the love of god and all that's holy, they don't even play entire music video's! Are the award speeches going to only be 30 minutes too? For that matter, are they going to air the same damn award speeches again and again with the same hour? I mean hell thats what they do with the video's. Arg....well gonna go try to find something to do that doesn't make me feel stupider afterwards.. guess that rules out television.
There's something even more wrong than normal with television lately. The ratio of hot chicks to normal guys is way off the charts, and we need 500mg's of realility stat! See this is how they plan it, they don't throw supermodel's in these sitcoms, but they put women that obviously wouldn't be with the leading male to attract the ugly guy demographic. See these not only attract men because they are good looking, but also because it give the false hope that there's a snowball's chance in hell they could bag a hottie. It's so subversive it's not funny...you don't realize it until it's to late and then you find yourself sucked in and unable to break the spell. It's everywhere you look:
- King of Queens
- Still Standing
- Everybody loves Raymond
- According to Jim And the worst part is all of these lead guys are nice guy's. Don't get me wrong...a lot of them are ex stand up comic's and are funny as hell. But the characters they portray always have such modest job's...like ups guy. Let's run with that for a minute. For all the ladies out there, when was the last time you had the desire to hump an overweight, receiding hair lined ups driver in his late 30's? I mean seriously? Or how about a sports colum writer? Or a loveable, mid-western raised contractor? They don't have looks, they don't have money. I'm thinking that the lesson here is either "knockem up on the first date, after you drug them and have sex with their lifeless passed out body" or "have a huge penis". Seriously...that would so explain all the penis pill commercials on tv lately. Because nothing says I need a larger penis like Mike Ditka throwing a football through a moving tire swing *shudder*. I mean if after coaching the bears and having restaurants with his name on them he can't afford high class poontang, he needs more help than a little pill can give. I think that's the ticket, we're all being manipulated. The networks believe they can convice us that it's not the fact that we need to shave our backs, have beer guts, or live with our mothers. If only we had larger penis's we could bag attractive wifes....regardless of being a manager of long john's silver, or delivering packages for a living. Don't you see we're all sheep being lead into the slaughterhouse full of viagra and double chins. When was the last time you saw a real fugly couple like Allin the Family or so? That reminds me, when did MTV stop playing music videos? Remember when they used to play video's all day? Now it's just all this reality tv/slut-a-thon's crap that dribble's out of the tv like an old buritto from a fragile traveler's colon. Which reminds me, what cum rag decided TRL needed an awards show? For the love of god and all that's holy, they don't even play entire music video's! Are the award speeches going to only be 30 minutes too? For that matter, are they going to air the same damn award speeches again and again with the same hour? I mean hell thats what they do with the video's. Arg....well gonna go try to find something to do that doesn't make me feel stupider afterwards.. guess that rules out television.