This is the first time i've felt like posting.
I want to say thanks to the people who have given me their support, even though they don't know me at all. I kept all of this to myself because I hate pity more than anything in my life, but I really appreciated what people I don't even know had to say to help me. It really made me feel better and I wanted everyone to know that.
It will be a little longer before I get back up to speed. Time are just as rough now as they were when my mother was alive. Dealing with her estate is a draining and emotionally turbulant activity. Just when you think you've dealt with the worst you find the stupidest little things that just makes you want to cry all over again.
I've only learned one thing, no matter what you do, how much you do, or anything...it never feels like you did enough. and I hate that so much.
i just wish there was a way for me to know that she knows i did my best for her.
DATE:
I think she probably did know, because you made the effort to be there for her. You rearranged your life in order to be there, and that means a lot. That is everything. It's the people in your life that are the important part, not all the other bullshit, and not a lot of people realize that, but you did. And you acted upon that, and she is sure to have noticed that. So have a bunch of other people in the community you have created with your site, and you can be proud about that, and know that there are people who feel for you, not pity, but empathy. Keep doing what you can do. I'll leave it at that, Jeremy
--------